Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
