...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
