I cockslap morals
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
