I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
