you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize