he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
