Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Let's get the cat blown out
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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