Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize