It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
