sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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