Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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