I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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