Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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