somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
