So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think a kid would responsible me up
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
