Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize