OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."