Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Come share oat with me in your robe
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
