i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
