You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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