please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize