I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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