I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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