my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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