Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
