yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
