It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
