...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
