Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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