Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
