We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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