yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
