my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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