I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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