THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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