drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
