I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
