I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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