Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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