hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
