you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
