I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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