The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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