shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
