that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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