where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
