The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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