We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
