I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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