Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize