we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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