My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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