i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
