using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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