The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
its liver damage thursday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
