So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize