Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
